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#85741 of 92230 Re: Mike [richard64]
Nov 19, 2012 (7:34 pm)
Can your brother keep your father for a couple of days each month? Probably not practical. You need some "Mike time". Try to be good to yourself.
Unfortunately, my brother wants no part of that - taking care of his Dad. He calls my Dad 2 or 3 times a week and that's it. He also lives 310 miles away, so that won't work either.
My brother is just too caught up in his own life - cruises, trips to Europe, to California, to Hawaii, etc. He is extremely wealthy, but never offers to come down here for a week or so in order for me to go to California to see my kids and grandsons. He tells me to hire someone to come in and take care of him but my Dad won't have anyone else in the house. When I said we could split the cost of a caretaker, he said to just put him in a home or care facility. He won't send me a nickel! That's been his take on things. When my mom was sick and dying, he never once came down here to see her or help my Dad. I flew in from California 8 times in 4 months to help out, but not him - and he was only a 1 hour flight from here. He is very into himself, but not anyone else. 3 wives - that tells you something!
#85742 of 92230 Re: Mike [abacomike]
Nov 19, 2012 (9:27 pm)
It is unfortunate that your brother doesn't do more to help care for your Dad, but at least he DOES call 2 - 3 times per week. On the flip side of the coin, YOU do NEED to spend time with your children and grandsons.
Like I said yesterday, YOU are doing the right thing by your Dad. Keep up the fantastic work.
We're very lucky. My Grandma is 95 and still lives alone in her house. I think my parents just convinced her about 6 months to a year ago to have someone come to the house at night to cook dinner and clean up for her. My Dad took the car away about 3 years ago. He should have done it when she was 90. She fell backwards and broke her hip while trying to pull the garbage can up over the curb. The doctor was amazed at how her body healed and she DID NOT require surgery. While she was in the rehab facility, my Dad literally took the car away. She asked about it when she got home & he told her NO MORE DRIVING. She still hasn't forgiven him for that.
3 wives huh? Assuming you met them all, did they resemble each other? I had a customer who was married 5 times. All of his wives were Dominican, all born in December. He said if you lined all 5 of them up next to each other, they could pass for sisters.
Nov 20, 2012 (3:28 am)
"...the importance of dream interpretation..."
Sorry for being my normal contrarian self but as a former mental health professional (with fancy letters after my name) I have to disagree a bit. While a RECURRENT dream can give clues to an underlying issues you really can't interpret much from a single dream.
I've personally seen phony therapists do a lot of damage drawing conclusions from dreams. That includes some "recovered memories" of childhood abuse that never happened.
Dream interpretation can be PART of an effective therapy but alone isn't much better than a horoscope.
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
#85744 of 92230 Re: Mike [nyccarguy]
Nov 20, 2012 (5:51 am)
Assuming you met them all, did they resemble each other? I had a customer who was married 5 times.
I have a friend and including his 3 wives and a few girlfriends, their names all ended with "ah", as in Brenda, Maria, Ursula, Debra, Roberta, Sandra.
Maybe there is something to that theory.
#85745 of 92230 Re: Mike [oldfarmer50]
Nov 20, 2012 (7:02 am)
Sad to hear of others' experiences with loved ones. Unfortunately, that seems a part of life. It never ceases to amaze me however how wonderful Hospice facilities and those who run them are. They were outstanding during my late Mother's last weeks. And, they didn't ask for a dime (although I did make a nice donation to them). Then, you look at facilities, either assisted living, or full nursing homes, who charge an arm and a leg, for what amounts to the least amount of care they can get away with, and wonder what they do with all the money they take in.
Both my late Father and Mother eventually went into what I had hoped was a nice assisted living facility. Doesn't seem to matter how much you pay. Those facilities aren't really concerned about their residents' well being. They do care about cutting corners and hiring barely qualified help.
Off the soap box......
OldFarmer....thanks for the little insight for mental health diagnosis. While I'm not qualified to even offer the slightest advice, I've always thought that some with suppressed "dreams/experiences" seemed like more of an effort to be dramatically find an excuse for odd/poor behavior. As you say...."sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Boy, did my Father love the chrome wheel moldings and padded vinyl roofs. Not my cup of tea, but.....
I remember the last Lincoln he bought actually had the gold package. Craig....what did you call that? Stylin'? Indeed!
Kirstie, I relate to the simple things, as you point out. I get more excited seeing the grass freshly mowed (and it wasn't me who mowed it), or the garage swept out, than I do having a party thrown for me.
As far as surprise parties, not much of a fan. Last one I had was when I was still married. It was an alleged birthday party. Should have been a indication of what was to come. But, she invited people I didn't much care for....mostly her friends (not mine) and her family (not mine).
In light of that, I do remember since it was my birthday, and I really didn't care much for the company, I did the only thing I thought was reasonable. That was the very last time I drank Jack Daniels.
Nov 20, 2012 (7:19 am)
Is it just me, or are people really that crazy. I saw on the news people camped out at Best Buy since Sunday to be the first ones in the store on Thursday evening.
Does this make any sense? Isn't your time worth more than a few bucks? Do these people have a life? Where do they work so they can give up 4 days of their life to buy an electronic device?
Is the world going mad or is it just me
#85747 of 92230 Re: Black Friday [driver100]
Nov 20, 2012 (7:33 am)
I can't agree more. I think the whole black Friday thing is out of control. Yes, you can save a buck but I could never camp out to spend my money.
I think I will post up a few pics once I get the car to my house and all cleaned up. I just sold the Wife's Elantra (to the first person who looked at it) and will be changing the Grand Marq to my name tonight at the DMV.
I love Jack D but sometimes it just doesn't end well. LOL
Suprise parties aren't my thing either. My Wife (GF then) got me once. She said it was just a "few" people coming and it was the whole group of about 50 people. It was a nice time, but felt the house/yard (picnic) wasn't prepared for a big event like that.
I'll just add in that how you are helping out your Dad is commendable.
#85748 of 92230 Re: Mike [abacomike]
Nov 20, 2012 (7:45 am)
There is always one in the family who has to shoulder the responsibility. I found that out quickly enough with my mother. My sister's answer was to just throw money at the problem, and she had plenty to throw with she and her husband being doctors. Money and telephone calls don't equate to changing diapers and feeding a person by hand. You will reach a point when you will have to make some tough decisions---home health care, nursing facility, etc. You have children and grandchildren. They deserve a place in your life also. I know it's tough. Hang in there.
#85749 of 92230 Re: Mike [oldfarmer50]
Nov 20, 2012 (7:52 am)
I certainly respect your opinions, not only about dreams but other topics as well. I do agree with you that most dreams don't hold significance. I agree that the recurrent dreams can give clues to an underlying issue.
#85750 of 92230 Re: Another Car Dream [fezo]
Nov 20, 2012 (7:58 am)
"...I was having a nice, friendly conversation with Chris Christie..."
That wasn't a dream; that was a nightmare!